brief, bad grammar post about love

hey 

make sure you let yourself be loved by someone who is there for you through it all, good and bad, and doesn’t expect you to be perfect of your own will nor of any god’s 

people are processes, they are flawed, we are always learning

if someone can’t or won’t be there for you when you’re having a bad day or when you cry for no reason or when you treat them with anger and contempt, if they are not patient with you and love you regardless - i seriously ask ‘what is the point?’

love is not about only good feelings; love is not about perfect people loving one another perfectly

love is sharing a journey of growth with someone you’ve chosen to be perfectly imperfect with 

((this is something difficult i had to realize and accept today because i am a perfectionist and i will always take the blame for things. it is hard for me to think that i am not going to do everything exactly the right way every time and have the answer for everything. i try to do this with people i love and it never works! it is a challenge to accept the love i am given and remind myself and allow myself to be reminded that i am going to be loved and supported no matter what stage of my life’s process i am in. i am going to change constantly - and just like i’ve chosen to love someone - they have chosen me back. i will always be my own worst critic, and i am not perfect, but i am loved.))

Why pity is an insensitive word to use when people leave the church

I was once a part of the world of like-minded people meeting to sing and listen to the word of God with eagar anticipation every Sunday morning. It was a huge part of my life and who I was; it was my source of strength and the lens that I tried my best to view the world through. I recognize that when one chooses to leave their former life behind and take up the cross, it's life-altering. It is the very foundation of all that one chooses to do. It dictates how you are able to love people. But what happens when you leave that world behind, and no longer accept that your life is owed to Christ's death on the cross? There were people who shared this core part of what it meant to be human with me, who loved me because Christ loved me first and I returned that love to him. And when you lose your love for Christ, others are quick to say one thing: "I pity you."

pity

noun

1. 1.

   the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.
2. 2.

   a cause for regret or disappointment.

I want to first say that it is already a very challenging realization to come to, to accept that you are no longer going to be a part of something so vast. When you've spent years telling others about how loving, accepting, and hopeful Christ and his followers are, it is painful and defeating to hear that others now only feel as though your choices are disappointing and that they believe you are suffering. On that note, I also recognize that based on a Christian worldview, it only makes sense to say that anyone who does not accept Christ as their saviour is technically suffering. From that lens, pity does appear on the surface to be the appropriate emotion to feel for those of us who tasted Heaven and decided it tasted like something we cannot stomach and made us nauseous. But I resent being told that I am pitied for my decisions, and I don't believe it is a loving emotion, nor is it helpful. I don't even believe it is appropriate to come out to someone whose Jesus wounds are fresh and say, "I find you pitiful. I pity your life now."

I am inclined to accept that you believe they are missing out on a beautiful part of life. I can accept sadness. And of course I will accept love; that should be given regardless of differences in worldviews. What I cannot accept is that you think I am worth any less than I was before.

I think that if all people are created in God's image and you believe that to be true, I am still a human being just like you. I may not see the world as what it is for you, but I have the same basic makeup. I am flesh and bones and I feel, deeply. And if your pity is warranted, then any disdain I may begin to feel towards Christ or his people can be justified. I am the least likely to ever be receptive to religion if others continue to be condescending to me about what I have discovered for my life. I don't mean to say that I hate my old life or anyone who chooses to live in that fashion. I simply don't have those feelings. I don't hate individuals, I dislike harmful ideology and practices (though that's a post for another day). But there are people who leave, fall into irrepairable pieces, and are then thrown remarks about how pitied they are. When you've felt the love of Christ and the love of other people, it is a challenge to see how such an emotion can be felt towards someone if only for the reason that they are searching for themselves and a purpose in life. For some, it wasn't found in Christ, the Bible, or any church group. And that doesn't mean they weren't receptive to the Spirit, or too disobedient, or possessed by demons. And they are no less moral than when they identified as a Christian.

I know first-hand what the church and its people are capable of. They are capable or love, grace, and forgiveness. That is what I want to feel. And I believe I would still be able to feel God's grace through his people if they did anything but pity me. We are all flawed, it is not only the people like myself. Christ's people are flawed, too, and they are loved. By him, and still by me. And do you know who I am? I am Sarah. I am who I was before, and if I might be so bold, I believe I am now the most like myself I have ever been. You know what your freedom looks like in Christ, and I feel I am free in myself and the love I am still able to give freely to others.

Please don't pity me.
Please don't patronize me. 

Does boycotting really make a difference?

The documentary “World According to Monsanto” is certainly a thought-provoking one. I will admit that I was familiar with a lot of the controversy surrounding the company and it still bothers me to hear it again. My biggest dilemma with Monsanto's actions is the false advertising, hiding life-changing information, and risking the health and lives of their consumers. Overall, this seems to be a bad business move. When one thinks about it ethically and logically, you might say that it doesn't make sense for a company to still be such a huge player in the business when all they have done is lie and attempt to buy others off. If I witnessed a bad business move on the scale that Monsanto has pulled off, I would say that those people are not worth my money and business. If enough people feel similarly – and we really should have vaguely the same moral, ethical code when it comes to what a lie can be defined as – then wouldn't Monsanto fail? A simple Google search – much like was shown in the documentary – reveals a long list of dirty laundry for the company. Dozens of articles talk about how to boycott the company, and an application has even been developed that will scan barcodes in grocery stores to allow buyers to see whether or not the product contains genetically modified organisms. It's easy to see how dedicated many people have become to the cause of being Monsanto crash and burn. But I wonder – is it really that easy?

I had a conversation with a close friend after finishing the documentary, and we were genuinely curious about how dedicated a person, let alone an entirely family, would have to be in order to truly boycott and make a difference. We played with the idea of actually trying to buy and eat organically for a year, purely from a journalistic perspective. Is it as easy as people believe it to be? With many issues today, we tend to get information and get instantaneously fired up and jump headfirst into educating others and advocating change. People as a whole tend to allow their emotions to get the best of them, and it's easier today when we can manipulate those emotions with videos and easily share them on social media. Take for example a video that recently went viral of a 12-year-old girl speaking out about being pro-life. I personally think this was a bold move, whether it was the girl's idea or their parents', because people are likely more willing to allow their emotions to guide them when a cute, smiling child is telling them a story as opposed to a politician or other adult public figure. The point that I am trying to make is that we need to take a deep breath and take the time and effort to do additional reading and research when we come across a story or information that gets us emotional. We should be seeking knowledge first and foremost. When we have reasonable cause to agree with what has been found, we should then become involved in actively making a change in our lives and the lives of others around us. As part of that process, we educate and advocate change. So often I see people, especially my age, see a single video or article and get very interested in a topic or issue – but for a very short time. It's almost a flavour of the week thing, and that is why I am doubtful that the sheer number of people who have publicly declared on social media their decision to boycott Monsanto products and companies will make a noticeable difference. People invest too much energy and emotion into issues initially and they burn-out quickly. We only have a very limited caring capacity, so when the next thing pulls on our heartstrings, we embrace it. We let it take over. It's a cycle that we need to break out of if we really want to make a difference in our world.

Generally speaking, I think people have good ideas and it is by no means wrong to care about the damage Monsanto has been doing for decades. As I mentioned early on, I myself am angered that this is how the American government acts when such a glaring hole is burning in their business practices. People are paying for the negative effects that Monsanto's products have on our health, and because they have such a presence in the market and make such a profit, they can keep their heads above the water. I feel powerless in this fight because everything in me tells me that what they are doing and what is happening is wrong, but I don't see how it can be changed at this point. I don't have an answer.

Have you ever boycott a product or company? Are you the exception to my "get on fire for this thing, ditch this thing a week later" theory?

Maybe college isn't for you

It is very rare these days that I am working alongside someone who is of a similar mind and work ethic as myself. I was raised to work hard. I got a part-time job at 15 years old and from that first pay-cheque on, I bought everything I wanted on my own dime. I went in to work for other people, I stayed late to help out, I did everything. I never imagined it was supposed to be any other way.

The same principles applied to my education. I worked hard and went to class. I was in the "Over 80 Club" all the way through. I took harder classes. I never took a spare as a senior. I applied to colleges right away. And then I attended those classes. I still do. But I am increasingly finding that the attitudes of people my age - and sometimes those older than me - really stink when it comes to accepting responsibilities. Sometimes I feel like people don't even understand the purpose of getting an education anymore.

Here are some of the top things I hear on a near-daily basis from my classmates that I can't for the life of me wrap my head around.

I hope class is cancelled/ I'm just going to skip
I can't understand this one in post-secondary when you're paying for all your classes. I admit that I have my days, usually later in a semester, where I attempt to weigh my priorities. I pick a class to skip only if:
a) I'm not sleeping well, possibly because I stayed up working on a huge assignment (in which case, shame on me for not managing my time well!)
b) I'm sick
c) Showing up doesn't count for marks
d) I have the textbook, so I can catch up
e) I am doing very well in the class
f) I have a basic understanding of the material being covered already
At the very least, two of these requirements have to be met in order for me to plan to skip class. I don't recommend this system to students with average or below average grades, or anyone who has a hard time with academics in general. Even I sometimes have to force myself to just grin and bear it. It's important.
However, I chum around and attend classes with students who spend entire semesters out of class - ones that give you marks just for attendance, at that - and then complain when they aren't doing well. If your grades are suffering and you are constantly praying for snow days and other issues that force your profs to cancel, you're out to lunch. If you're the student who makes their debut only on the day where they need to deliver a class presentation and there are murmurings of, "who is that guy? Is he even in our class?" you're probably not doing so well in the course.

______ is a bitch/asshole to do ______ to us
I constantly find myself in conversations with classesmates about how unreasonable our professors are. Anything from expecting us to be on time for class and having been assigned homework is fair game for name-calling. I am upset by this attitude because these are professors who, from all I have experienced, genuinely desire to see us succeed. Any professor who seems harsh or unreasonable at first has great intentions - they see the importance of professionalism. It is a great misconception that one's career begins once they have received their education and can begin to apply for jobs they are now qualified for. No, you see, your career path begins with attending whatever post-secondary institution you accept enrollment to. Your classes and education and experiences are now free to count "in the real world." Meet people, build a portfolio, whatever it is you will need. And the people who teach you don't just have to be people you avoided (because, ew, teachers) and don't foster valuable relationships with. They are there for a purpose, and if you can connect and network with them, they can be become so much more helpful to you later. This doesn't mean use them; suck up for a nice reference letter when you want a job. This means actually respect them and look up to them, see them as people who are there for you and have been where you are now. I find so many professors I've had are willing to even get together one on one and answer questions about their professions and experiences. Use that to your advantage.
And seriously? Complaining about assignments? It's their job. It's part of the curriculum. It's to be expected.

I don't even know this/We didn't learn this
If I had a dollar for every time I was in a lab and someone I was working with was constantly asking how to do something we have gone over a dozen times, I would probably be able to pay my embarrassing amount of debt. I get secondhand embarrassment for people who insist they have no idea what is going on and resort to insulting the professors for their own lack of attention paid to lectures and instructions. A number of my exams are practicals, and I've seen practical exams where it seemed as though people just didn't even try. They failed, because they didn't do what they were taught and supposed to do, and furthermore, they complained that they should have passed. No, you did it incorrectly. No, you didn't study. No, you didn't pay attention. Yes, we did learn it. You were either busy complaining, skipping class, or you forgot and moved on and somehow expected it to never show up again. A lot of programs and degrees are fairly cumulative; what you learn in the beginning is built on later. If you don't get a handle on the basics early on, you will be hard pressed to be successful in the future.

This is so dumb
If you think a course or assignment is dumb, maybe you don't understand its purpose. First you should ask your professor or faculty/program advisor why it is included. If you understand their reasoning and still disagree that strongly, maybe you can make a case against it so it isn't utilized in the future or is changed and improved somehow. Students do have the power to make changes. There are probably legitimate cases where professors are doing things they shouldn't be doing, grading things improperly/unfairly, etc. If you honestly want to improve something, there is a chain of command you can go through to see what can be done. But if you are just complaining because you don't want to do the work, no one can help you.

Here's the thing about post-secondary education. It's that weird inbetween stage where you're essentially an adult, but it feels often like you don't have to act like one. Maybe you're paying with your own hard-earned dollars. If you aren't, I can see how it's more challenging to see the connection between "this costs money every time I attend or don't attend, and I'm paying for a diploma/degree." You get stuck in this mentality that the world is your oyster, you're free, you are there to meet new people and do things by your own schedule because you don't live at home with your parents, perhaps for the first time ever. But I urge you to see your post-secondary experience as it really is, and as it should be - it's a huge part of your professional career. You have tons of resources and opportunities at your fingertips. Get involved, volunteer, meet people who will help you keep on task. It's a lot of time and money to spend to just fail classes, re-take them, graduate late, and not have networked at all to get yourself out and into the job world. See that everything has a purpose - the classes, the assignments, the expectations for your behaviour and participation. It doesn't take a genius to read a syllabus, because this stuff is right there. All assignments have these things called learning outcomes. By completing such and such a task, you should learn/be able to __________. It's an extension of what you read and hear in lectures. It's putting what you've learned to the test and really proving that you understand. That's where your grades essentially come from - how well you understand the material. And if you are constantly failing to attend class and participate, insulting people who are trying to help you, and just generally setting yourself up for failure - maybe college isn't for you.