Moving on

When some event occurs in our lives or the lives of others around us, we are sad. Things can be bittersweet, heart-wrenching, downright painful. We are expected to feel those things, and we are allowed to express our  grief and sense of loss. Those who care about us know that there may be nothing they can say to take the heartache away, and yet still they offer us hope through loving and encouraging words.

For a time.

We are pushed to look for the silver lining, told 'better luck next time,' and reminded that God has a plan for us. Sometimes those things work; sometimes they leave us feeling angrier and more hurt than ever before. But there comes a time, in each unique life situation, that we start to really believe those words. We stop and realize, 'I feel happy again. My life can go on.' So that's what we try to do, and we don't think about how it was the very thing we were told to do from the beginning. It just starts to feel like a possibility, the right thing.

But then sometimes the very people who reminded us of the little things, the good that comes from the bad, aren't ready for us to grow.

Sometimes when someone who has suffered a loss or had to deal with something difficult begins to become happier and more content with their lives, there are people who silently scream that they're not doing what they're supposed to. 'You're supposed to be sad! Don't you remember what happened?' The whispers of words and thoughts unspoken, 'how can you move on now?' Most people are capable of reading between the lines.

Sometimes I think we expect people to stay sad for quite some time. That, somehow, by trying to move on, they have become heartless and uncaring. We try to force them back down, to remind them where they came from. It's not that we forget, though. That is something that escapes us. No one ever really forgets someone they love.

When things are actually starting to look up for once, don't be the one to pull a person back down into their misery. If you love someone and care for them, let them try. Let them be happy.  A tragedy may only be days behind them, but everyone deserves to feel the good things in life. Pain is temporary. Sadness should not be the expectation we have from life.