Maybe college isn't for you

It is very rare these days that I am working alongside someone who is of a similar mind and work ethic as myself. I was raised to work hard. I got a part-time job at 15 years old and from that first pay-cheque on, I bought everything I wanted on my own dime. I went in to work for other people, I stayed late to help out, I did everything. I never imagined it was supposed to be any other way.

The same principles applied to my education. I worked hard and went to class. I was in the "Over 80 Club" all the way through. I took harder classes. I never took a spare as a senior. I applied to colleges right away. And then I attended those classes. I still do. But I am increasingly finding that the attitudes of people my age - and sometimes those older than me - really stink when it comes to accepting responsibilities. Sometimes I feel like people don't even understand the purpose of getting an education anymore.

Here are some of the top things I hear on a near-daily basis from my classmates that I can't for the life of me wrap my head around.

I hope class is cancelled/ I'm just going to skip
I can't understand this one in post-secondary when you're paying for all your classes. I admit that I have my days, usually later in a semester, where I attempt to weigh my priorities. I pick a class to skip only if:
a) I'm not sleeping well, possibly because I stayed up working on a huge assignment (in which case, shame on me for not managing my time well!)
b) I'm sick
c) Showing up doesn't count for marks
d) I have the textbook, so I can catch up
e) I am doing very well in the class
f) I have a basic understanding of the material being covered already
At the very least, two of these requirements have to be met in order for me to plan to skip class. I don't recommend this system to students with average or below average grades, or anyone who has a hard time with academics in general. Even I sometimes have to force myself to just grin and bear it. It's important.
However, I chum around and attend classes with students who spend entire semesters out of class - ones that give you marks just for attendance, at that - and then complain when they aren't doing well. If your grades are suffering and you are constantly praying for snow days and other issues that force your profs to cancel, you're out to lunch. If you're the student who makes their debut only on the day where they need to deliver a class presentation and there are murmurings of, "who is that guy? Is he even in our class?" you're probably not doing so well in the course.

______ is a bitch/asshole to do ______ to us
I constantly find myself in conversations with classesmates about how unreasonable our professors are. Anything from expecting us to be on time for class and having been assigned homework is fair game for name-calling. I am upset by this attitude because these are professors who, from all I have experienced, genuinely desire to see us succeed. Any professor who seems harsh or unreasonable at first has great intentions - they see the importance of professionalism. It is a great misconception that one's career begins once they have received their education and can begin to apply for jobs they are now qualified for. No, you see, your career path begins with attending whatever post-secondary institution you accept enrollment to. Your classes and education and experiences are now free to count "in the real world." Meet people, build a portfolio, whatever it is you will need. And the people who teach you don't just have to be people you avoided (because, ew, teachers) and don't foster valuable relationships with. They are there for a purpose, and if you can connect and network with them, they can be become so much more helpful to you later. This doesn't mean use them; suck up for a nice reference letter when you want a job. This means actually respect them and look up to them, see them as people who are there for you and have been where you are now. I find so many professors I've had are willing to even get together one on one and answer questions about their professions and experiences. Use that to your advantage.
And seriously? Complaining about assignments? It's their job. It's part of the curriculum. It's to be expected.

I don't even know this/We didn't learn this
If I had a dollar for every time I was in a lab and someone I was working with was constantly asking how to do something we have gone over a dozen times, I would probably be able to pay my embarrassing amount of debt. I get secondhand embarrassment for people who insist they have no idea what is going on and resort to insulting the professors for their own lack of attention paid to lectures and instructions. A number of my exams are practicals, and I've seen practical exams where it seemed as though people just didn't even try. They failed, because they didn't do what they were taught and supposed to do, and furthermore, they complained that they should have passed. No, you did it incorrectly. No, you didn't study. No, you didn't pay attention. Yes, we did learn it. You were either busy complaining, skipping class, or you forgot and moved on and somehow expected it to never show up again. A lot of programs and degrees are fairly cumulative; what you learn in the beginning is built on later. If you don't get a handle on the basics early on, you will be hard pressed to be successful in the future.

This is so dumb
If you think a course or assignment is dumb, maybe you don't understand its purpose. First you should ask your professor or faculty/program advisor why it is included. If you understand their reasoning and still disagree that strongly, maybe you can make a case against it so it isn't utilized in the future or is changed and improved somehow. Students do have the power to make changes. There are probably legitimate cases where professors are doing things they shouldn't be doing, grading things improperly/unfairly, etc. If you honestly want to improve something, there is a chain of command you can go through to see what can be done. But if you are just complaining because you don't want to do the work, no one can help you.

Here's the thing about post-secondary education. It's that weird inbetween stage where you're essentially an adult, but it feels often like you don't have to act like one. Maybe you're paying with your own hard-earned dollars. If you aren't, I can see how it's more challenging to see the connection between "this costs money every time I attend or don't attend, and I'm paying for a diploma/degree." You get stuck in this mentality that the world is your oyster, you're free, you are there to meet new people and do things by your own schedule because you don't live at home with your parents, perhaps for the first time ever. But I urge you to see your post-secondary experience as it really is, and as it should be - it's a huge part of your professional career. You have tons of resources and opportunities at your fingertips. Get involved, volunteer, meet people who will help you keep on task. It's a lot of time and money to spend to just fail classes, re-take them, graduate late, and not have networked at all to get yourself out and into the job world. See that everything has a purpose - the classes, the assignments, the expectations for your behaviour and participation. It doesn't take a genius to read a syllabus, because this stuff is right there. All assignments have these things called learning outcomes. By completing such and such a task, you should learn/be able to __________. It's an extension of what you read and hear in lectures. It's putting what you've learned to the test and really proving that you understand. That's where your grades essentially come from - how well you understand the material. And if you are constantly failing to attend class and participate, insulting people who are trying to help you, and just generally setting yourself up for failure - maybe college isn't for you.

You know that thing you do that keeps you cemented in the past? Maybe that social media account you check up on just because you know it will contain photographs or information that will make your blood boil and jealousy rip at the walls of your insides like it's trying to escape? Yeah, stop doing that. You deserve happiness. There is a road ahead that isn't concerned with who said what. You deserve freedom. You are not where you came from or what's happened to you. You deserve the best. What is coming now for you has nothing to do with what is coming for someone else. You deserve to worry about you. Write your own blogs. Take your own photos. Meet the love of your life. Live for now, and forget anyone who made you sad three weeks ago or a year ago. You will learn from your mistakes, and others will learn from theirs. Live for you, now, and do it with no regrets.

the future

The worst thing about being naked—and then being hit by a car—is that road rash is a problem for skin. Why was I naked in the middle of the road at noon? I am glad you asked, imaginary other half of this conversation! I have no idea! Some characteristics of bipolar disorder include dissociation, hallucinations,  and fugue states, so sometimes I wake up in places I didn't go to sleep!  So. There I am. Nude. Splayed out on a car like a slutty chicken, and I'm screaming about the government  conspiracy to take away my feet. Not my real feet.  Just my brain feet. I'm about six inches away  from the concrete when I realize, in slow motion,  like the exact opposite of a rhinoceros attack,  "This is not how I imagined my life would turn out." When I was young, I broke both my ankles jumping off a roof because  I was sure a cape would enable me to fly. My parents  attributed this to my strong imagination. Last year, my therapist called it a delusion. I fail  to see the difference. Also, I really can fly  and see the future and make stupid people leave coffee shops with my mind. Forty-three percent of the time. Sometimes I see people as colors. For instance, this guy right here is purple, which means he just got a promotion. Or a blowjob. A blowmotion, if you will. The point is,  here is a list of things my brain has told me to do: join a cult; start a cult; become a cabinet maker; kill myself, so, in essence, become a cabinet maker; break into, and then paint, other people's houses; have sex with literally everyone who reminds me of my mother; fight people who are much fightier than me, like the cops, so, in essence, kill myself. I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that's never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I'm up I don't kill myself because, holy shit, there's so much left to do! When I'm down I don't kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring. They keep telling me seeing things that aren't technically there is called "disturbed cognitive functioning." I call it "having a superpower." Once, I pulled over on the 110 freeway and jumped out of my old Jeep because I saw it burst into flames twenty seconds before it actually burst into flames. I knew my girlfriend and I would be together because she turned bright pink the first time she saw me. I know tomorrow is going to come because I've seen it. Sunrise is going to come, all you have to do is wake up. The future has been at war, but it's coming home so soon. The future looks like a child in a cape. The future is the map and the treasure. The future looks just like gravity:  everyone is slowly drifting toward everyone else. We are all going to be part of each other  one day. The future is a blue sky and a full  tank of gas. I saw the future, I did,  and in it I was alive.