Tuesday, September 16, 2014

What happened to us?

Writing this was not my intention when I sat down at my computer this evening. I actually wanted to play the Elder Scrolls Online, but I haven't for a few weeks and so I regret to say that it's updating: very slowly. Naturally, I lit a candle (candles make everything automatically at least sixty percent sexier). Then, like the boring 22 year old that I am, I hopped on Facebook to scroll until something mildly interesting caught my eye. And what should appear, shared by multiple people on my friend list, but this article titled 71 Reasons Why We're All F*cking Single. Couple that with my recent read of The Death of Adulthood in American Culture, and I came to a realization of sorts. It's not that I didn't notice before, but it became all too clear to ignore any longer that we are all very sad and very pathetic people when it comes to "growing up."

We've all seen the Tumblr text posts about being socially awkward and single. We laugh and we see ourselves in those words, those miniature stories, but we don't see the problem. We reblog and revel in our shared immaturity, our delight in never growing up. We'd rather watch Netflix and never change our clothes, leave the house, or get a job, than be met with the possibility that we might have to do something difficult. We concern ourselves with knowledge and topics that are so pointless and fleeting, and then we wonder why older generations look at us as lazy. We do everything that warrants the comments we hate, but we think everyone else is the problem and refuse to look at what we can change. People haven't heard of certain timeless authors, or other famous contributors to society as we know it - but we sure as hell know who's going to be on our fantasy football team, every new feature of the newest iPhone, what Ryan Gosling named his gosling, and every minute detail of the should-be-private going on's of the Duggar family.
"We’re worried about shattered iPhones more than ruined relationships. We don’t need to go out to movies when we have Netflix. We don’t need anyone because we’re perfectly content with ourselves."  ('71 Reasons' article)
Exact- wait, what? Why doesn't this bother anyone? Why should we be content with ourselves when we're basically all Homer Simpson? Don't we laugh at his character because he is someone who can't possibly exist? Maybe we all used to know a lazy person or two, but Homer was funny because it was always so exaggerated. But today, there is always someplace to be my Moe's, Boneshaker to be my Duff, and I honest to goodness feel like I'm getting dumber each day. I don't have to develop my social skills, because I bring my phone to the dinner table and answer any question from another human with the bare minimum, hardly looking away from Twitter or whatever else tickles my fancy. I don't read challenging material and learn anything, because I'm content with The Hunger Games and Divergent. I don't talk about the challenging themes in good films because I've only watched Frozen at least once every week since it came out.

Who, or what, can we blame? Technology? We're beyond blessed to have access to the information that we do, bcause there was a time when the family you were born into would dictate whether or not you had access to any education whatsoever. People are so amazing, don't you see? We invented ways to write things down, the printing press, the education system. We're creative and we've progressed so far. Now I just feel like we're taking innumerable steps back. Did we look at all of these things, shrug our shoulders and say, "oh, well, it's all already been done"? "Might as well sit back and just fucking cruise"?

If we take articles like 71 Reasons and the numerous other similar articles on sites like ThoughtCatalog, Huffington Post, Jezebel, EliteDaily, etc. seriously, like a lot of people do, we perpetuate the notion that people are supposed to remain childish. That you can keep living at home, that you don't have to work, that you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself. And while we may each be free to choose that life for ourselves, when did it become the ideal? Where is the drive, the independence, the passion, the desire for more for ourselves?

What is it that happens? When did "adult" become a curse word or insult? I've experienced it myself - you spend this number of years waiting to get to a certain age or stage of life, because you believe it will be the point where things get better. You can drive, you can drink, you can have your own place. You can do so much more than you once could, but it's always about something that's supposed to be coming next. And then somewhere along the path, we get - what? Complacent? Lazy? Unmotivated? All of the above? We get our parents to pay for our classes that we don't go to, and we don't work, and we bury ourselves deeper into our childhoods that we miss so dearly for some bizarre reason. To be entirely honest with all of you, I'm beyond embarrassed that I was formerly a baby. I dream of the day where I don't have debt, I don't have an excuse to sit around because I'm "just a student," and I don't have to share a space with people I don't necessarily want to be around other than to conveniently share the cost of rent.

I don't know what to do. I don't think there is only one way for people to live their lives, so I want to clear that I don't want to discount the choice that some people are making to not "settle down." But do I really believe we can defend our "reasons" for remaining children, albeit in slightly bigger clothing than we used to wear? No, I don't think it's enough to simply say, "because taking responsibility for the things that I have chosen as someone who is capable of abstract thought is totally lame." Freedom and responsbility, my friends; because if you're going to say that you're single for reasons like "no one wants to use a condom," and "you drink too much..." you better be ready to take accept the consequences. I don't believe  there is anything wrong with a bit of selfishness (see: Ayn Rand), but the brand we've developed is not the kind that I believe should be excused the way it has been.

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