this is an open letter to any man that i have shared spaced with in a professional setting or may meet and work with in the future:

i am polite because my mother raised me so. the golden rule - Do to others what you want them to do to you - was repeated often in our house.

my kindness is not to be mistaken for flirtatiousness. i am kind because it is important to show warmth in this cold world.
i am not kind to stroke your ego.
i am not kind to be coy.
my kindness does not have an ulterior motive.

please don't talk about my shoulders. my hair. my face. my back. my legs. the shape of my clothes.

i work so that i can live. so i can pay my bills. so i can network. so i can further my career. so i can garner more skills. so i can improve upon the skills i already have.

i do not work so i can be the subject of your endless compliments. i do not beg for your compliments so i can live. so i can pay my bills. so i can network. so i can further my career. so i can garner more skills. so i can improve upon the skills i already have.

i can't believe i have to ask this of you.

but...
please don't touch my shoulders.
my hair.
my hands.
the small of my back.

even if it is a light brush as you laugh and tell me a joke. even if it is as you have to pass by me in a hallway, room, or aisle. even if you are looking over my shoulder at a computer to look at work. even if you think it is innocent or friendly and you believe you do it to everyone.

just... please. please don't stand so close.

please don't don't say you'll miss me so much over the weekend.

please don't tell me i'm beautiful.
please don't call me a lovely young lady.
please don't tell me i couldn't do anything wrong.
please don't call me perfect.
please don't tell me about your sex life.



...
the worst part is, i will always be wrong.

i was too nice.
i wore the wrong clothes.
i gave the wrong impression.
i am overreacting.
i am a feminist;
an angry, radical feminist.
one of those girls.

i'm crying rape;
crying wolf.
you're laughing at sexual harassment in the workplace videos.
i'm arrogant for thinking you would want me.

i just want to be kind.
i just want to be warm enough to make work less sterile and strict.

i may be beautiful.
i may be lovely.
i may be young.
but;
it will never impact my ability to work hard.
and i will not work harder or differently because you tell me so.
don't tell me so.